Dramatis Personae: Salman Khan I as Yuvraj Vijay Singh Salman Khan II as PremDilwala Sonam Kapoor as Rajkumari Maithili Anupam Kher as Diwan Niel, Nitin, andMukesh as Ajay Reptile Arman Kohli as Human Swara Bhaskar as Chandrika oreverybody's sister *** Scene 1 Prem: I love Ram. I want to marry Sita. But Premis my lucky name so Sonam Kapoor will be called Maithili. Maithili: Hi i am anindependent woman. Only I take my money from my Grandma and want to marry aprince for more money. Prem: I want to put 143.75 rupees in maithili's NGO fundso imma go to Pritampur estate, yay! *** Scene 2 Yuvraj: Am tha prince.Tradition only. I like money and boiled food. Chandrika: I am the step sisterfrom the second mama. I want some money and some more money and the wholeduckin' (sorry, autocorrect) palace. Ajay: Hi, i am the step brother from thethird mama. I want to kill the yuvraj so that people can notice me in the movie*** Scene Minus 1 Maharaja: Hey i am the daddy. Imma build a palace on awaterfall without any security or rescue system where my kids can play and die*** Scene 3 Yuvraj: I will go to my sister and convince her to live in thepalace 'cause we are a Sooraj Barjatya family. Chandrika: Either give me moneyor duck off. Yuvraj: Please Chandrika: duck off (5 minutes later) Yuvraj: Ohmotherducka who sabotaged my carriage i'm dying (yuvraj escapes death) *** Scene4 Prem: gonna take gujhiya for princess Maithili. Yuvraj's Servant: Oh you lookJUUUUST like the yuvraj! time for some fun. Diwan: You'll play the yuvraj, Prem,till he gets better. But remember to not have sex with Maithili. *** Scene 5Maithili: Wanna have sex with ya Prem: Can't Maithili: Please Prem: I got aboner but I really can't Maithili: k write something on my back with thisfeather Prem: (writes) Maithili: O god awesome I'm done Prem: Me too *** Scene 6Prem (playing the yuvraj): sissy please take this washing machine n come homeChandrika: I can get that on EMI motherducka, gimme the palace Prem: k chillkeep the palace *** Scene 7 Maithili: prem ratan dhan payo Chorus: payoMaithili:prem ratan dhan payo Chorus: payo (5 minutes later) Sick yuvrajkidnaped by Ajay and taken to glass palace. *** Scene 8 Yuvraj: I am angry ngonna kill everybody. Prem: Pls bro they're your siblings. Yuvraj: OMG yea*cries* *** Scene 9 Diwan: Prem is not yuvraj. don't go by the face, theessentials are different. Maithili: But I put on my short dress n m so hornydoes anyone care? *** Scene 10 Maithili: I will marry prem Prem: But why?Maithili: Cos he's clean shave n likes chhole bhature :-* Prem: But I'm notroyal! Chandrika: Here i'll put the tilak now you're royal too, yay! Maithili:Yay I can have sex finally! *** (And Maithili spends the rest of her lifesleeping with the right face.)
